Five years of life is sometimes called the golden age of childhood. However, because they are entering school, this age holds realistic promises and realistic perils for both the child and the parents. The smoothness of that transition, what and when the child and family experience and learn in the early school years often has a long lasting effect on several areas of psychological well-being. These include future achievement or lack of achievement, personal sense of worth, ability to contribute to others, and satisfaction with life. At this age, influences of modeled and observed behavior play major effects on learning and success of an individual. The five year olds ability to master a given task gives the child a sense of competence as an individual.

Behavior

Being Five

The world of a five-year-old is still a mysterious place, but one in which she has some control. Instead of the impulsiveness she showed at four, she is able to gauge a situation before she reacts- to "stop and think" first. She may be slower to get into situations, and seems to have a serious air about her. She likes the familiar territory at home, the tried and true, and rules. She may go to great lengths to admit she's wrong. Although the five-year-old's world seems smooth on the surface, it can be stormy underneath. And the second six months of this year can be more turbulent, as your child moves closer to age six and school. It's harder for the child who has not had some initiation in group play in day-care centers or nursery schools.

Thinking

• At five, your child still believes in magic-it rains because of something he did, or because the clouds were angry. He still thinks he is the center of the universe, and has trouble telling the difference between fantasy and reality. He may believe in the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus the Easter Bunny… and in ghosts and monsters.
• At this stage, he knows that words stand for ideas and objects, and likes to guess about cause and effect. Although he lives in the "now", he knows the difference between past and future.
• He doesn't really understand our adult classification systems yet, and is still hazy about how days of the week, months and seasons fit into the big picture. In fact, he may make up his own systems to organize the world as he sees it. The five-year-old is on a quest for knowledge, and when he asks questions, he really wants to know the answers. The more experiences he has this year and the more you explain things, the broader his horizons will be.
• If your five-year-old has a tendency to "stop and think" this year, what she thinks about is enough to stop you in your tracks. Get ready for questions like: "Why do you and Daddy close your bedroom door?" "Where do babies come from?" "Suzy said…" or "Why did ______ die?" She's just as likely to ask them in the middle of the supermarket as when the two of you are "having a talk."
• The first thing to remember here is that you have a lot more information about the question than she's ready to hear. At five she has her own ideas about the world, and she still believes in "magical thinking."
• The smart thing is to find out what she thinks, and tailor your answers to her perceptions. Try to be straightforward and matter-of-fact. And be prepared. Your library has sex education books for children, and it might be a good idea for you to check a few out so you know just how much to say when the question comes up.

Feelings

• Some child psychologists feel that children go through extremes of behavior each year, with relative calm for six months and disruption and turbulence for about six months. They feel that the child exhibits opposite types of behavior at each stage. They would predict that for about the first six months of age five, your child will be solemn, serene, and outwardly quiet. Then, at age five-and-a-half, the child seems to be in a constant stage of tension. After something gets started-a tantrum or any negative behavior-the five-year-old has a hard time stopping it.
• These child psychologists feel that temperament is already determined by two months of age, and that it's better to accept it than try to change it and make the child into something he is not. The best way to help your child grow emotionally is to be honest about your own feelings even if you don't like them. There is a big difference between hostile feelings and hostile behavior, and you should make it clear that you accept bad feelings but you expect good behavior.

Talking

• Except for certain sounds-s, v, f, and th-your five-year-old is quite the little speaker. His sentences are nicely made, with plurals, pronouns, and correct verb tenses. He knows his name, age, address, phone number, and even his birthday-and over 2,000 words. He likes big new words, and may be ready to spell out road signs and short words. Because he knows his alphabet, he's always asking "What does _________ spell?"
• It's this use of language that helps him clarify ideas and express himself. It will help him succeed in school and the world. It can be a problem if he talks constantly, however-quiet time and listening are important in kindergarten. Don't be fooled by your child's fluency in language-sometimes it can hide how young he really is.

Playing

• Five is the age of the "edifice" complex-because five-year-olds like to build, and they like to build big. Skyscrapers, whole model cities, houses that cover the floor… all are thought out ahead of time. Five-year-olds like to dress up, too, and role play with their puppets. Because they're so imaginative, they can find a use for almost any ordinary household item in their play.
• Five-year-olds also love games, but not the ways adults do. They love the rules, deciding who gets to go first, and taking a turn. Score isn't important, nor is winning or losing, or even finishing the game.
• This is an expoloratory outdoor age, and it can be good for children to get dirty. If you keep a special set of clothes for outdoor things, he can play in the mud as much as he wants.
• Nature study and "scientific" toys, playing store and school, and taking control as the pilot or the bus driver are right up a five-year-old's alley.

Creativity

• Five is a truly creative age. The world is fresh and exciting, and your five-year-old can use his new skills in language, painting, and music to combine ideas in uniquely interesting ways.
• Your five-year-old can now invent stories, music and dances, and excels at innovative drama alone and with other children. Because creativity is using the mind more than it is using many materials, simple things like art supplies, books, and musical instruments are the tools which help them grow.
• He will use creativity to solve problems and come up with new solutions as long as he lives, so it's good to encourage the creativity that is so much a part of him now. And it's even more important to encourage creativity when he goes to school, because it can actually be stifled in a classroom situation.

Development

Movement

• Stands on one foot for 10 seconds or longer
• Hops, swings, climbs, can do somersaults
• May be able to skip

Hand and Finger Skills

• Copies a triangle and other geometric patterns
• Draws person with body
• Prints some letters
• Dresses and undresses without assistance
• Uses fork, spoon, and sometimes a table knife.
• Usually cares for own toilet needs

Language

• Recalls part of a story
• Speaks sentences of more than five words
• Uses future tense
• Tells longer stories
• Understands about 13,000 words

Cognitive

• Likes to ague and reason; use words like "because"
• Able to memorize address and phone number
• Has a good attention span and can concentrate well
• Is project minded and loves to learn
• Can count 10 or more objects
• Correctly names at least four colors
• Better understands the concept of time
• Knows about things used every day in the home
• Becomes left or right hand dominant

Social

• Organizes other children and toys for pretend play
• Wants to please
• Often fears loud noises, the dark, animals, and some people
• Wants to be like friends
• More likely to agree to rules
• Likes to sing, dance and act
• Shows more independence and may even visit a next-door neighbor
• Aware of sexuality
• Able to distinguish fantasy from reality
• Sometimes demanding, sometimes eagerly cooperative
• Enjoys collecting things
• Sometimes needs alone time

Emotional

• Aware of sexuality
• Able to distinguish fantasy from reality
• Sometimes demanding, sometimes eagerly cooperative

Indicators for concern

• Doesn't interact with other children or with adults through play
• Is excessively aggressive or withdrawn with other children
• Plays in repetitious, stereotyped ways
• Is less physically capable than other children of the same age
• Still speaks unclearly or is not talking in sentences
• Is unable to follow verbal instructions
• Is not talking during play

The next routine physical examination is at six years of life.